Eradication - The Way Lovers Do
Lyrics and story written by Mikko Gynther
Characters:
Narrator
Edgard
Olivia
Edgard's friends
1. Welcome to My World
Welcome stranger
To the dark
Welcome to my world
Let me tell you a story
A good one
A real horror show
Once upon a time there was a boy called Edgard and a girl Olivia. One night they hooked up at a bar and decided to spend the night together. They were both very, very drunk. At least they had something in common.
2. Edgard's Serenade
Later that evening
You shall never forget this night
Even though you'd surely love to
I'll be the worst you've...
First?
Not first, you deaf cunt!
Worst!
I could never be the first for such a slut
I'll have to start all over again
You shall never...
Oh, fuck it!
I'm too old and drunk for this
Well, despite their first encounter a relationship took off. Soon they were carrying out their alcohol abuse together, more and more often. One night Edgard started talking softly.
3. A Rigorous Fantasy
I'm such a lucky guy 'cos I've got a girl like you
I have had a brilliant time
Just love these cozy nights at home
Could you do a little thing for me
I've got a fantasy
Sure
Splendid
First we need to get smashed and then I'll tell you the plan
Gin gin !
I'll still need a few more drinks
but I'll tell the plan now
When I have puked and can't drink any more
I want you to do something for me
Rip my clothes and tie me up
Hang me upside down
I've been a bad, bad boy
Whip, whip , whip!
Open up a bottle of vodka and ram it in my ass
Make sure it'll stay there
It's gotta feel so, so fucking good
Spin me counter clock wise as many rounds as you can
and let the rope do the magic
Repeat!
I want to ride the carousel for one hour and hang for two
Then cut the rope and let me fall
That's my fantasy
Tell me your's babe
Oh no no
Let's carry out yours first
4. Merry Go Round
Here we go
Now
Shit, that sure was a tough ride
Shut up, you pussy !
That was just a warm-up
And I almost forgot the best part
This time it's for real
Fucking fuck
I'm gonna die
You're the one who asked for it
Eat shit, you fucker !
Their relationship was based on understanding and mutual desire to please each other. Olivia was not ashamed of her wishes.
5. A Vague Fantasy
I want you to be a real man
To treat me like real men do
Not to ask
Not to worry
And not to cry
All this time you've wanted me to beat the shit out of you
That's not the way I like my men
I want you to...
Yes
Rape me
Rape me, my friend
6. Lady Gag
Well, here we go
Ass to mouth, ass to mouth, ass to mouth, ass to mouth
O tempora! O mores!
Ms jizz, who's your daddy, shithead ?
I kinda like being a man
Hey cocksucker, if you don't cum it ain't a proper rape
OK, asshole
Here's your cum!
Edgard thought he finally knew what women wanted. Since that day he played his new role so well that Olivia got afraid of him and depressed. She couldn't resist comfort food and Edgard was well aware of it.
7. Dessert Eagle
Dessert eagle
Fa-fat-fatty-ty
Dessert eagle
Big fat fatty-ty
Dessert eagle
Babe, babe
Uh-oh, it's back again
Look Ma!
On the radar
It's the fattest bird in the universe
And it's all mine
Dessert eagle
Fa-fat-fatty-ty
Dessert eagle
Big fat fatty-ty
Dessert eagle
Olivia missed the old Edgard more every day.
8. My Babe's Been Down
Come on guys
Hear me now
I need your help tonight
My babe's been down
and you sorry clowns
could help me make it right
We've got to beat her up
Show what we've got
That's the way she wants me to tell I love her
If you're in
I'll buy you a drink
What do you think?
Aren't you going a bit too far with that thing
How do you think you make her feel
You better watch your happy home
Don't retreat from the special treat
I need your help tonight
She's been blue
And it's up to you
If I can make her feel alright
Well, OK !
Tell us what is on your mind
9. Anniversary
I've been thinking of surprising my bitch
It's our anniversary after all
Here's the plot
I and my three mates, that's us, sneak into our bedroom
When she's sleeping there alone
We have eight trouts of course
Those slimy and smelly motherfuckers
One for each hand
And then
We'll start whacking
She's gotta love it
Black helvet and that little boy's smile
Is too much for a little girl's mind
10. Consideration
I've had it
Tonight is the night
To be or not to be
To do or not to do
That is the question
There's one born every minute
Balance, balance, balance
I need to bring balance to the world
This is the night
I've got to make it right
11. Goodbye, My Love
Goodbye, my love
This is where it lead
Poor Edgard ended up dead
Tied up and strangled to death at night
Not given a chance to fight
So long, my friend
